Story: Happy earth day! (4/22) do something truly meaningful this year and feed yourself to me! in an effort to curb overpopulation, i am devouring willing prey. countless others have already selflessly given their lives to the cause. a line has formed leading to my bulging belly, other eager volunteers are waiting. as a predator, this is the natural way i can save the environment. by ridding the world of excess people i am doing the planet justice. the more i eat, the less strain there is on natural resources. in a way, what is best for the planet is also what’s best for me! now approach my wobbling, expanded stomach and prepare to join all the others who are breaking down inside it. as weak prey, you are below me. being my food is practically instinctual. my soothing voice and warm tongue prepares you to be swallowed. the last thing you see is my glistening, wet uvula. digest knowing you’ve shown a true act of devotion to the earth and to my belly!
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